Hello, everyone. I found this group while searching for more

Hello, everyone. I found this group while searching for more information about what I'm going through. My hope is that those of you with more experience can give me some insight about what to expect or how you've managed to get through the clusterf@#$k that is a relationship with a narcissist. I've been separated from a suspected (not officially diagnosed) narc for around a year. Sleep deprivation, gaslighting, smear campaigns, you name it. I only had the strength to leave when I stopped caring if I lived another day. It had affected every aspect of my life before I finally broke free. Unfortunately, I have a child with this guy.

Fast forward to the present and I'm much closer to my true self and happier than I have been since I became involved with the ex. I'm dating someone who is pretty awesome (taking it slowly) and my physical and mental health is making a comeback.

The ex still uses the custody agreement and his keen ability to manipulate teachers, counselors, etc to continue to abuse by proxy. I do pretty well most of the time by not reacting, but it's driving me nuts!! It's frustrating to think that his b.s. is still somehow a part of my daily life even though I dumped him and managed to get primary residential custody of our child.
How long will this continue?
How do I stop him from alienating my five year old child?
He has mentioned meeting someone "special" (thank God!) And I pray this means he'll lose interest. Thoughts?
I'm sorry this is so long, but it's honestly the most brief introduction I can give for my nightmare.

show more ⇓
Comment
 4
View 1 More Comment
Snoozeroni's picture
[2245]
Oct 12

Gurl, I can't even imagine if I had a child with mine... I tried, but went into early menopause at 31 years old from the stress of that relationship. Was a blessing. Farrah nailed it in her comment... No contact except for visitation purposes... He will continue to manipulate you and try to make your life miserable. Don't allow it... I sometimes lean against the wall and imagine that is my past... Be strong! You are empowered with knowledge of what he is... I think he will eventually lose interest as well once he secures his next victim... Stick to the visitation rules, no more. No contact. Maybe he will just go away when he sees he can't affect you anymore... <3

Reply
[85]
Oct 12

I actually don't have him or any of his family on my FB, plus they and all known "friends" are blocked from mine. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that he has met someone. Infact, I'm scared it has prompted falso hope that he'll lose interest in screwing with me. The issue isn't that I am unable to ignore his ridiculous text messages, etc. How direct attacks using those methods lost their effect a long time ago. My annoyance is with his insidious use of third parties and the interruptions that ensue because I have to mitigate the concerns voiced to school officials, answering to court accusations, etc.. Does that make sense?

Reply
Snoozeroni's picture
[2245]
Oct 12

@NotInKSAnymore Just document everything. Maybe you can prove harassment to the judge and stop the nonsense. Maybe talk to the school officials about said harassment, because that's what it is. I feel your frustration. <3

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account